Saturday, November 6, 2010
Are you Tuned in?
I am sitting at a cafe and I overheard a couple talking. The woman expressed that she felt like he didn't trust her with the decision she made, and he expressed that he just wanted to be clear on the "why" behind it. She disregarded him and for about 2 minutes suggested things to order and he was non-responsive, his mind was clearly still on the previous conversation. She proceeded, and after about 4 minutes, he finally made a suggestion on what to eat.
What I have to offer:
Why is it always so apparent for a complete stranger to understand what's going on, but not for the people involved? Are we that into ourselves that we are not present to the other? I would say I was DEFINITELY this woman. I was so not present in my relationships for a while. It helps NO ONE. EVER.
Your partner wants to be heard, and so do you. By dismissing someones voice, you are dismissing the relationship. When you silence someone, you leave no room for possibilities and only room for YOUR ideas and opinions. If you want to only hear your voice, do both of yourselves a favor and end the relationship.
What's YOUR story?